At times you feel like writing non-stop, taking it all out what’s torturing you from the inside and throwing it away in the form of words—words that carry the fire, the flame, the hurt that’s eating you from the inside.
I was hurt today, a bit demotivated, because what I thought I can do and achieve, for what I totally believed in myself and backed myself to do, jolted me and gave me a shock.
It was hard to take it in at first, I wasn’t able to think clearly about my next steps but then a trait of mine kicked in. A trait which has kept me strong and going till now, a trait for which I’m thankful to God—the ability to to transform negativity into positive energy, to seek optimism in an apparently bleak situation and start self-analysis.
I don’t know the cause, but whenever I’m told that the thing I believe in, I can’t do it or I’m not good enough for it, instead of getting demotivated and thinking what a waste I am, I rather take it as guidance and go on to analyze where did I go wrong? There are obviously things that I lack. Perhaps it’s the desire to keep on improving myself, but the energy that I gain forces me to gain what I’m lacking, to learn.
And I’ll do the same this time too. Going to analyze what I need to do to prove myself. Oh, and I’m going to try and blog a bit regularly here, I so miss this place. 😉